What to do when all your doctors disagree

You’re not feeling well. In fact, you’re feeling terrible. The anxiety is worse than ever and sleep has been non existent. Forget cooking a meal, even the thought of food in your mouth turns your stomach. When people feel this awful, it’s impossible to not be vulnerable which makes it even harder to ask for help.

Here’s where it gets even tougher. When one finally dose seek help, they may find that one doctor is telling them one thing and the other is saying the exact opposite. It’s not reasonable for anyone to get an entire medical education so what to do? And how is anyone supposed to find the mental strength to figure it out when they just want to go to bed and feel better?

This situation is common and there are a few things you can do to help simplify your treatment so you can feel good about the guidance you get and only focus on getting better.

  1. If possible, limit the healthcare professionals on your team to the professionals you trust and have something to offer you. It’s great to have a second opinion if you want to make sure a recommendation is the best choice, in fact I often suggest this. So get the second opinion, and decide what feels right.

  2. Bring an advocate to your appointments. It can be overwhelming to go to a doctor and hard to remember everything said. Sometimes a trusted friend or family member may bring up something important that you might have forgotten to say. They can also talk things through with you later and help you make decisions.

  3. Write your questions down. Bring them to your appointment and take notes if you want to and if you’re feeling confused or nervous, ask for clarification.

Having OCD, anxiety, withdrawal or any other condition like this can further confuse the decision making process. Anxiety, suicidal ideation and rumination can be so severe that it makes it very difficult for someone to trust any therapeutic modality. Will this make things worse? What if I have a bad reaction? What about the side effects? These questions are valid but for someone with anxiety, they become paralyzing. The fear of the very anxiety itself competes impressively with the bravery it takes to want to get better.

So remember, keep your healthcare team selective, bring an advocate to appointments and take notes. Trust a tiny bit in your process of healing because you are 100% capable of healing. It won’t always be so scary and there will come a day when you learn to trust yourself in a way that brings you not doubt, but peace.

One last strategy I like for not just trying to organize your therapy and healthcare plans, but for any kind of mental overwhelm (that comes with a sprinkle of self doubt) is saying positive affirmations. One of my favorite ways to do this is take a deep calming breath and say “I love and approve of myself”. You can say it in your mind or out loud, whatever feels right to you. It’s a good way to take a break from the anxiety thoughts.

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